it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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