It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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