just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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