I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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