No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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