Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
