and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
