oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
