Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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