On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
