didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
