Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
