You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
