I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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