I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
