it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
