Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
