I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
