if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
