We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
