Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
