Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
