Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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