Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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