Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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