Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
