i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
