He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
