I'm jealous of your bromance
even my farts smell like vagina
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
