Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
