On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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