Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize