I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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