ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
