my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
please come you make the beer taste better
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
