So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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