Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
