Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
