She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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