I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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