Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
