Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
