Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
