It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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