im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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