Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
