throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
