i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
