I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
