thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
